The words one chooses to use in both verbal and written communication says a lot about the communicator's view of the world.
When I encounter words like:
hate, villain, trick, fear, threatened, argue, defy, pejorative, contradiction, unwilling, purge, disruption, anger, obsessed, scares, confusion, messiness
- whether here in the 'Rain...or elsewhere in life, I conclude that the "communicator" is for the most part, "negative", unhappy with their lot in life, and wants to spread the "gloom and doom" to others, although the rationale for such behavior escapes me...perhaps they are just having a bad day, week, etc...
But even in the "worst" of times, is it really so difficult to change one's vocabulary to be "positive"? It can only help "improve" things...
For example, instead of using the words in red (above), using words such as:
love, hero, real, assurance, safe, agree, reconcile, positive, sensible, inclined, preserve, satisfaction, calm, indifferent, reassures, clarity, organize
Often the same "point" can be made by presenting it with "positive" language - and often the audience is more receptive to the message - as most rational listeners tend to "tune out" the "negative" rants...
I don't appear to be alone in this perspective - although I'm always open to candid and productive discussion with others who may have a differing point of view.
I took a few minutes this morning to find a few articles on the Internet that appear to be far more "articulate" on the topic than I can be, but that won't send you over to the Dictionary to see what the author means by "$40 words" as my friend Marte Cliff refers to those complex, obscure words that leaves many readers scratching their heads!
In no particular order, here are the links to the full articles, as well as a quote from each for "good measure":
Donna Labermeier - Huffington Post: Why Criticizing Others Is a Lot More Harmful Than You Think
"When you make derogatory statements about others, the centered people in the room know exactly who you’re really talking about... yourself!"
Claire Dorotik-Nana, LMFT - PsychCentral.com: Attacking, Blaming, and Criticizing: How To Respond To Other Peoples’ Bad Behavior
"Understand where bad behavior comes from. Attacking another person, pointing blame, and criticizing another harshly all come from the same place: the attacker’s attempt to dislodge some of their own bad feelings onto you."
Nanice Ellis - WakeUp-World.com: Overcoming Negative Thinking – The #1 Cause of Chronic Depression
"Judgment of anything is negative thinking because you are focusing on what you do not like or desire. If you call yourself a “realist,” you are someone who rationalizes negative thinking in order to give yourself permission to think negatively."
I know that some members encounter this behavior from time to time, and have observed a few of those who chose to communicate with a consistently "negative" vocabulary either being "dis-barr-ed" from the 'Rain - while others who "came close" seem to have "heard the message" from other 'Rainers and headed in a more "positive" direction.
There are many "rational" responses to that "negative" vocabulary - whether it be ignore it, challenge it, or "fill in the blanks".
For the most part I ignore it.
Some times I'll challenge it.
If it's a "personal attack" in general, Bob Stewart will intervene if it violates Active Rain Community Guidelines, if it is brought to his attention.
If something is "unclear", the best course of action is to ask a question using "positive" vocabulary.
If instead, "assumptions" are made, inaccurate "conclusions" are drawn, "accusations" are made, all using a "negative" vocabulary, then it's hardly surprising that readers will conclude that the "author" has "opportunities for improvement" in their communication skills.
Some times it's best to save a rant blog post in Draft Mode until some time has passed, consider the reasons that prompted it, and perhaps reach out and ask a question - rather than pushing the "Publish" button without due consideration. It could "Bite You In The B*tt" !!
So, is your vocabulary "positive" or "negative"?
Do you "attack" and "defend" - or do you "integrate" (play well with others) with society in general, and Active Rain in particular?
Thoughts and Counter Points always welcome!
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